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Tips on Dating and Social Situations! Having grown up large size, I was always aware of the fact that my body didn't "fit" into many places and situations as easily as many other people. Worrying about whether I'd fit into a car or booth in a restaurant clouded many social situations for me...and still does today. Unfortunately, many of our "normal sized" dates, partners or spouses don't realize the barriers we
encounter or the anxiety we experience worrying about these things. It's not because they don't care, but because they just never
experienced these things in their own lives. So, "significant others", take note! These tips are just some of many that can help us feel more confident, secure and relaxed in social situations!
And if you're hoping to find someone to share social situations with,
why not click on the banner above for BigBeautifulDates.com and find some great dates where you can put these tips into practice!!
VEHICLES:
Sit in your passenger side car seat. Are you comfortable? Think about the leg room, arm room, butt room. Push the seat all the way back. If you aren't having any backseat passengers, most folks of any size appreciate riding this way. It's no fun having your forehead against the windshield.
Do you have to step up or scrunch down to get into the vehicle? Think about mobility issues.
If the vehicle's high, do you have a running board? If not,
can you park by a curb? If your ninety pound kid sister has trouble
hauling her butt up into your 4x4, think about the problems someone
else might have! If you have a car that's low, remember NOT to park
by a curb or anywhere the door doesn't have full swing!
If a seat belt doesn't fit, it's not the end of the date. Don't stare, or say, "Geez, they seemed really long..." or fuss. Seat belt extenders ARE available, and some car manufacturers provide longer belts/extenders at no cost (although they do fuss about it
sometimes...stand your ground...for the cost of today's cars, they can fuss all they want, but you deserve the
extender if available!)
Don't get caught in the situation of making your date the "designated driver" and then find out that she isn't comfortable behind the wheel! (this makes lots of sense in ANY situation, by the way...think about it...not a great first impression of you is it?)
It's nice to come around and open the car door for your date. Sometimes a hand to hold on to helps make it a lot easier to get out of the car, especially low ones.
Remember, small sports cars aren't always comfortable for people who are large- sized, or long-legged. Consider borrowing a car if yours is tiny or hard to get into/out of.
FACILITIES:
Think about where you are going in advance. Think about what you know about your date. Where is she/he comfortable? In a crowd? In a more intimate setting? Ask her where she likes to go/what she likes to do.... And listen!
If you're going to a movie, or any theatre, check out the width of the seats, the distance between rows, etc. Most places can offer seating in the aisle. You may need to bring your own chair.
Speaking of chairs, please don't bring along some flimsy folding chair that wouldn't hold your cat. There are good chairs available
you just need to do a little research and "butt test" some
on your own. If a theatre is truly out of the question - rent a movie and curl up on the sofa!
A concert in the park in the plans? A blanket on the ground may not be comfortable for your date. Again, bring the trusty folding chair!
Think about access issues. Are the aisles narrow? Are the chairs narrow or frail? Do they have four legs, wide seats, are the arms narrow? Will your date have to squish through other seated people at a restaurant? Request a table with easy access.
Do you know the restaurant staff? Can you request an armless chair in advance? If you need an armless chair, simply request one. Most restaurants want to
accommodate their patrons. But remember that not all can provide one. It would be best to check these things out with a quick phone call before making reservations or plans to visit the facility. (The Olive Garden gets rave reviews from folks around the country on their handling of the need for armless chairs. Patrons report that they are asked if the seating is okay, do they need a different chair, etc. with minimal fuss and maximum respect.)
Off hours help with the crowds if the restaurant is difficult to move around in. Beat the dinner rush, or come later.
If your date wants dessert or anything else during dinner, don't feel you have to comment on it. If your date passes on dessert or anything else during dinner, don't feel you have to comment on it.
Get it?
GENERAL STUFF TO THINK ABOUT:
Just because *you* fit somewhere, don't assume your date will. People without "access problems" usually don't give it a thought, but to a large person, it is evident. Everyone is shaped differently. Some have broad hips, big tummies, long legs, etc. If you sense some hesitation on your date's part when you suggest going somewhere, change plans...again, it's not the end of the world.
Don't plan a group get-together with your friends as a first date if you know they are fat-phobic. (True friends don't judge you or your date by
size, or at least know when to keep their opinions to themselves, but, hey, true friends are sometimes hard to come by...) This does NOT mean hide your date...it means that until you find some *real* friends, be willing to do the "group get-togethers" with your date's friends, or others who are not into fat-bashing.
Please don't forget to pay attention to the speed your date likes to walk and don't keep "pulling away" like a race horse down the final stretch! Offer your arm and it helps you keep the same pace.
Don't assume that because your date is large they are immobile, either. Many large people enjoy, and
excel, at physical activities. Again, it comes down to ASKING your date what they would like to do.
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