Dogs Don't Use Computer
|
The Top 20 Reasons Dogs Don't Use Computer |
|
#20. Can't stick their heads out of Windows '98. #19. Fetch command not available on all platforms. #18. Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side. #17. Too difficult to "mark" every website they visit. #16. Can't help attacking the screen when they hear "You've Got Mail." #15. Fire hydrant icon simply frustrating. #14. Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway they're browsing www.pethouse.com instead of working. #13. Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG Frisbee. #12. Not at all fooled by Chuck Wagon Screen Saver. #11. Still trying to come up with an "emoticon" that signifies tail-wagging. #10. Oh, but they WILL... with the introduction of the Microsoft Opposable Thumb. #9. Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome #8. 'Cause dogs ain't GEEKS! Now, cats, on the other hand... #7. Barking in next cube keeps activating YOUR voice recognition software. #6. Smell U - Smell Me still in beta test. #5. SIT and STAY were hard enough, GREP and AWK are out of the question! #4. Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to maneuver. #3. Annoyed by lack of newsgroup, alt.pictures.master's.leg. #2. Butt-sniffing more direct and less deceiving than online chat rooms. and the Number 1 Reason Dogs Don't Use Computers...
|